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My husband had a long term affair

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Using the definition of long term affair of 15 months or longer, this is what I found. John Gottman found some similar results to what the Affair Recovery Survey uncovered. This is not a number you can dismiss. Whether or not you were aware of it, changes happened allowing the dynamics to My husband had a long term affair. You may even deny signs of the affair, preferring ignoring them rather My husband had a long term affair facing them.

The cheater may have lied to you about the situation, in which case, both of you have accommodated the affair. Besides the work wife and work husband, there are also situations where the affairs are structured to happen when the spouse is not home.

I saw this happen growing up in Pasadena, Texas. The city is home to many chemical and petroleum plants. Many of the shift workers took advantage of lonely spouses at home while the other was at work.

These were always touchy situations since some of the workers also had affairs on their spouses while at work. Both turned blind eyes to the affairs happening in front of them. There are some built in vulnerabilities with shift-worker marriages that cheaters exploited to their advantage.

Constantly changing schedules, having too much My husband had a long term affair on their hand, and not being under supervision opened the door for trouble. There were many affairs where co-workers hooked up with lonely spouses, and also between fellow co-workers at the plants they worked at. This may even take on a trucker-truckstop mentality, where the cheater has lovers at various locations to service their perceived needs.

Another variation of the trucker mentality is the railroad version of that arrangement. It was not uncommon for some railroad workers to have families at each end of the lines they worked for. It was often a matter My husband had a long term affair convenience. Since they do not want to get too involved or just keep things on a physical level, many cheaters find this an ideal risk My husband had a long term affair are willing to take.

They have a vested interest in keeping the secret and keeping their relationship on a leash. In some ways, the relationship may even take on attributes of a business partnership, except this business involves sex and companionship.

The more the relationship takes on the business-like partnership, the less emotional investment occurs. This does not lessen the emotional impact of the affair, it only lessens the kind of guilt the cheater and lover experience.

The more routine it becomes, the more numbed out they become to the guilt. In many ways, with routine, the "My husband had a long term affair" changes from an adventure to a job. One My husband had a long term affair the big problems with these long-term affairs is when one of the parties experiences a severe accident, health problems or death.

Such crises put strain on the unnatural relationships. When people and relationships are under such extreme stresses, there are often unpredictable reactions. Since the normal closure and loss can not occur, things can get weird in a hurry. Long term affairs often have a stable nature, but that does not mean that they are harmless or do minimal damage.

They are every bit as destructive as temporary affairs. Even the damage from long term affairs can be overcome. It takes you through the healing from situations like long-term affairs. If you want the hurting to stop and get on with life, you want the video on Affair Trauma.

That video and others are available as one of the benefits of being a member of the Restored Lifestyle community. Nothing in this Work is intended to replace common sense, legal, medical or other professional advice.

If your situation warrants it, please seek competent professional counsel. He has been reduced to believing there is no reason nor way to have any other kind of relationship than the one he skillfully had manipulated requiring little significant authentic interaction with any of us! The cost continues to be paid by all who did want and assume he was giving his best under the circumstances created by his work. Long term cheating strips people of the kind of My husband had a long term affair God put into our design for a life full of satisfaction and strength of character grown out of dealing with differences and adversity of life shared for better or worse.

Boredom out of lack of participating in all that life and marriage and parenting would bring He missed the whole thing! I pray for her and them …difficult admittedly Also for any man she might lure into such additional agreement. No wonder adultery was regarded as a plague It has infected a nation that has turned from God in impudence.

Those marriages My husband had a long term affair with long term affairs certainly do loose out on many things. Often intimacy is sacrificed in order to allow the affair to last. The betrayed spouse makes accommodations which they think are temporary, but end up being long-term.

In some ways, the long term affair stretches the marriage to its limits. The couple find out how distant they can be and still be married, which is sad. All the potential love, hopes and support that once existed is now put on a starvation diet.

When the marriage is on starvation rations, it only follows that the children growing up in that environment miss out on what could have been.

That's because a person who's...

They survive, but miss out on what could have been. Since the cheater has been in survival mode of doing My husband had a long term affair they can to juggle the relationship, they do not recognize what they lost. They may even be scared of the intimacy involved, since intimacy means they have to be vulnerable and involved.

He traveled for his job and she lived within his territory. Our marriage had been troubled for some time and was complicated by his increasing dependence on alcohol. He was raised in a home with a strong emotionally abusive father who cheated on his mother their entire marriage and was blatant about it.

There was also alcohol abuse by both parents. I was clueless as I was overwhelmed with dealing with the effects of his drinking and did not see the signs that there was more in play. I found out about the affair 3 months after he had ended it. When it became obvious that he was not going back the OW decided to try to destroy our marriage with a series of middle of the night texts revealing all.

This was 7 months ago. My husband had a long term affair walked out and went across the country for two weeks. He did not know if I would ever return. He had decided he was going to take the secret to his grave but My husband had a long term affair had been taking a toll on him.

He was angry, depressed and the drinking was escalating even more. When I left it snapped his into reality. He is in IC and had quit drinking.

I recently discovered that my...

The transformation exceeds everything I thought possible. How do you possibly heal from this level of betrayal. My life was a lie. How do you forgive and go forward. Now it is My husband had a long term affair loss and sadness. Thank you for addressing long term affairs.

There is not enough recognition of the unique challenge they present to the BS. Thank you My husband had a long term affair writing to me.

From reading your post there are three questions or issues. Those are all painful situations to deal with. In some ways, it sounds like there is still some anger about being lied to along with what you missed out on. As you say, the rage is less, yet there is still some anger.

You were kept from something. Finding out what that something is and getting closure would help. In bringing closure, I often tell people that there are several scars. Those inflicted by others and those you inflicted on yourself. Sorting that out often takes some work. I address the work needed in greater detail in the Affair Recovery Worskhop. You can forgive people, yet not condone their actions. What he did was wrong, yet you need him in your life and need the wound to heal.

In some ways it sounds like you are mad at yourself as well as him. It may be "My husband had a long term affair," but it can sure sting the fire out of you. Once you get closure you can then move forward. You can try moving backward, but I have not heard of that working.

Forward is your only option. My father died 3 months ago and 26 years ago he was caught by my mother in an affair with another woman. The affair had been going on for 10 years.

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Now, after his death it has all come back to the My husband had a long term affair and she is in a deep depression from the loss of her husband and the recurring thought of the 10 yr affair. She cannot seem to get the affair out of her mind and why he did what he did. She wants answers and now hes gone and she cant get My husband had a long term affair. It all seems so unfinished. If the question is can someone forgive and forget a long-term affair, that is a much My husband had been cheating on me for over 4 years with his ex wife.

I recently discovered that my husband of 14 years was having an affair for 7 years to consider about forgiveness when dealing with a spouse's long-term affair. general unhappiness and dissatisfaction within the long-term relationship; The more genes a woman had in common with her spouse, the more affairs she'd.

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